Smell that? It’s the smell of oil, tape, pyrotechnics, and the sweat of 30 different men.

That’s right, my WannaBe Brethren. It’s Royal Rumble season. We’re less than 20 days from embarking on the Road to Wrestlemania, and I, for one, am stoked. I’ll save my matchup picks for another column, but I wanted to address an issue that’s come up for debate in my circle of wrestling fans.

Who has the best wrestling gimmick ever?

The debate ranges far and wide on this one, with many of my friends having completely different opinions. But I decided to end the argument by publishing my own list here on this website. How can they argue with that? After all, if it’s on the Internet, it must be true!

So here you go. My no-holds-barred (pun intentional) look at the best grappling gimmicks of all-time.

#5: Sting

Not the surfer-boy, technicolor Sting. I’m talking about the man with black and white face paint and the Scorpion Deathlock, hovering in the rafters with a baseball bat. He’s one of the creepiest men to ever play the game, and his legacy is still going strong.

#4: Brett Hart

No one did it better than Brett, whose mastery of the sharpshooter sent many a grappler limping back to their mammas. “The Excellence of Execution” ranks lower on this list only because of the clouds surrounding his career, which distanced him from so many of his fans. But we love you, Brett, and we wish you’d come back.

#3: Stone Cold Steve Austin

The Texas Rattlesnake is one of the best all-time, period. A brawling, beer-guzzling, bird-waving bastard from Texas, Austin defined the attitude of an entire era. Not to mention the Stone Cold Stunner, which remains one of the best finishing moves to ever be performed in the squared circle.

#2: Ric Flair

I might catch some heat for this one, but just like Tom Petty, “I’m gonna stand my ground.” Oh, and I won’t back down, either. How can you help but remember Flair? He’s the “Dirtiest Player in the Game”, the “Nature Boy”! Whether you like him or not, you cannot argue with the far-reaching impact that he’s had on this business. Chops, the figure-four and “WOOOOOO!” Now that’s greatness.

#1: The Undertaker

He’s one of the most popular wrestlers of all time, and for good reason. The Deadman’s unprecedented 17-0 streak at Wrestlemania will go down as one of the greatest accomplishments in the history of sports entertainment. Even when he switched his look, rolling out to the ring as a bandana-wearing biker, the audience loved it. The ability to keep your fan base while switching up your costume – that’s the mark of greatness, right there.

Honorable Mentions: Mick Foley, Shawn Michaels, Sergeant Slaughter, Goldberg, and Macho Man Randy Savage.

Afterword: No love for The Rock, Hulk, or John Cena (Hulk 2.0)

If you’d asked me to make this list a year ago, Hulkster may have been #1. But his ill-advised return to TNA has left many with a bitter taste in their mouths. As for the Rock, he’d be in the top five, no question, if he made a return to the ring. His efforts to distance himself from the business have hurt his long-term viability. And as for Cena? Pokemon knew more moves than John Cena.

- Taylor Maxwell

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Tags | Brett Hart, Professional Wrestling, Ric Flair, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Undertaker, Wrestling