Categorized | Football

No Cap? No Problem.

Posted on 31 March 2010 by Wanna Be Sports Guy

For those who pay attention to the financial side of the National Football League, this promises to be an interesting season. Thanks to persistent disagreements between ownership and the player’s union, we are about to embark on the first salary-cap-free season in recent memory.

While the players are certainly excited about this development, it could spell an end to the already questionable parity of the NFL. So what can teams do to earn a little extra income? Here are a few ideas.

The New England Patriots
Bill Belichik is well known for his camera work. He could get a job as a surveillance man for the US government.

Dallas Cowboys
What? You think Jerry Jones needs more money? Get Steve Jobs and Mac to sponsor the Cowboys’ new stadium. The iPod Arena. Sounds like a winner.

Green Bay Packers
Begin raising cows and chickens on the beautiful grass of Lambeau Field. Just think of how much you could sell those eggs and steaks for! Wisconsin people would pay through the nose.

Chicago Bears
Set up a series of self-help motivational seminars. Besides the money it will bring in, imagine the possible benefits to the angsty Jay Cutler. You may actually be able to motivate him for (the first) half of a season!

Oakland Raiders
Take a cue from Al Davis, the power-mad revenant who still haunts this sorry franchise. If he can influence the team from (almost) beyond the grave, why not give loyal fans the same opportunity? Sell burial plots beneath the Kentucky Bluegrass of the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum.

Kansas City Chiefs/Washington Redskins
I’m going to do everything I can to avoid making a joke about opening a casino… Oops.

The Miami Dolphins
Work out some revenue sharing contract with Chicken of the Sea. Tuna’s Tuna? The marketing practically writes itself!

The Baltimore Ravens
Two words: poetry readings.

- Taylor Maxwell

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